The Red-Blue Cocktail

The implicit belief among many Red Pill Eaters is that the Red Pill represents the acceptance reality and the Blue Pill is adherence to what Roissy terms the “pretty lies” of fairy tales and Disney Movies.  This assessment is one that correctly pulls us away from living in a world of delusion and towards actually leading effective lives here on planet Earth.  I think it’s a fundamental and essential stepping-stone, but it’s not entirely correct.

Athol Kay somewhat shares my disagreement with this assessment but takes it in a direction I find somewhat erroneous:

The standard line is that the Red Pill is the truth and the Blue Pill is the illusion. But it’s more like the Red Pill is muscle and the Blue Pill is fat.

To be sure, you want more muscle than fat on your body, but if you cut the body fat down low enough… eventually you keel over and die. You simply can’t be 0% body fat. Nor can you be 0% Blue Pill without being a rather paranoid and dysfunctional person. It’s simply not possible to sustain an endless state of assumed telepathy assuming your partner or opposite sex is out to get you.

If you see all women as gold-digging-cuckolding-false-rape-raptors, you can’t have a successful relationship with one. It’s no different than a dyed in the wool all-men-are-rapists-and-beat-women-as-a-default-setting feminist can’t have a relationship with a man. You eventually assume the worst and tear the relationship apart from the inside.

The last of these paragraphs is entirely correct, but he reaches the correct conclusion through faulty reasoning.  Elsewhere in his post, he equates the Red Pill with “fixating on the minor points of bad mood or inattention and assuming evil intent”.  To swallow the Red Pill wholeheartedly is to “assume the worst”.

Although Kay explicitly rejects the notion that Red Pill=truth, through his muscle-fat analogy he nevertheless expresses some ambivalence on the point and says in the comments:

You’re equating Red = Alpha, Blue = Beta to me. I’m more saying Red = Truth, Blue = Illusion.

There’s a small degree of comforting illusion we need to make our relationships run smoothly.

In no way do I wish to rip on Kay, for I suspect he actually agrees with me more than he might suspect, but Kay explicitly rejects the Red Pill=truth formulation to create a thesis only to adopt that very formulation in its defense.

At the same time, even the most cursory reading of Kay’s blog would lead anyone to recognize that Kay has an exceptional grasp of reality regarding the nature of inter-sexual relationships.  Yet he seems to advocate accepting illusions.  How can one be as right as Kay yet simultaneously believe that one must also accept the inherent wrongness of delusion?

At risk of infuriating the entire Manosphere for my presumptuousness, let me redefine our beloved terminology by fitting it into my favorite formulation:

The Red Pill=reality, “The Earth” human nature, how things actually work, our instinctual nature, A is A

A

The Blue Pill=the Ideal, “The Heavens”, how things should work, abstract ideals (e.g. liberty, marriage, love), our better selves

G

Nothing is wrong with understanding A, and nothing is wrong with believing in G, but everything is wrong with getting them mixed up.  Whether we’re talking politics, economics, or relationships, when we substitute rational analysis of what we think should be with what our brains and senses tell us actually is, we’re setting ourselves up for disaster.  The Heavens and the Earth may both exist, but they’re not the same place.

So when we speak of men who’ve swallowed the Blue Pill, we talk of those who assume that their idealizations of what woman should be somehow applies to the realities on the ground.  Every time we mix up what we think should work when appealing to women with what actually works, we conflate G and A.  When we attempt to seduce a woman with gifts of stuffed puppies, we “tempt the lord thy God” by flinging ourselves off of a building, assuming that we can defy the laws of physics (or in this case sexual attraction) and somehow not get our knees bruised.

Likewise, we can do irreparable damage when we view the world of G through the cold hard lenses of A.  Like I described here, even if not a single marriage since the dawn of man has been perfect, Marriage still is.  When we viewed Marriage as an ideal, as an aspect of G, families were more likely to stay together, our instincts were held in check to a greater degree, and the vast majority of us were far better off.  When we started seeing it as just another patriarchal power construct or equally valid social arrangement, we started falling apart at the seams.

To many of us, the adorable elderly couple that’s been together for seventy-five years represents an ideal.  We don’t know if during the early years of their marriage the husband seduced frauleins during the occupation with his chocolate rations, nor do we know if that cute old little wife once banged the milkman when her husband was off getting shot at.  You can’t escape A.

But when we had a healthier grasp of G as well, couples with the same instincts we’ve got today were far more likely to keep it together through the rough times.  That “socially constructed” marriage came closer to Marriage than what we’re likely to see today.  They still screwed up, but their own adherence to G, as well as that of society, made them more likely to work things through.

And even the man who understands A as clearly as any man alive, who has mastered Game and has as much hand over his wife anyone, even he claims to have never cheated on his wife.

To believe him (as I do) is to believe that G exists as well.  If you recognize that it’s not A, belief in G can help you navigate through the darkness of human instinct.  It’s not delusion, nor is it “fat”, sometimes it’s actually how things are.  “Render unto Caesar” is only half the sentence.

One final illustration:  Recently Sunshine Mary asked “How much game should the Christian wife require?” and she correctly answered “None.”  G is eternal, the marriage vows do not change.  However, if she asked “How much game does the Christian wife require?”, the correct answer would have had to be “At least a little.”  Part of A is that incentives matter, she might gain a whole lot of fun and freedom if she leaves her husband, she’s likely to have plenty of opportunity to cheat if she wants it, and there’s no chance whatsoever she’ll be sent so some island with a scarlet “A” permanently affixed to her blouse.  We’re all potentially part of the sexual market until we’re physically unable to have sex anymore.

Which brings me back to Athol and the last of my essential Truths:  I am what I am.  I usually shorten this as I when applied to the abstract Individual or as U when I’m dealing in the second person, but here I’ll use S for “she”.  Your wife or girlfriend is a woman.  She’s hypergamous, responds to dread, and will drop you if you don’t satisfy her instinctual drives.  The hotter she stays for you, the hotter she’ll be to other guys and the more she’ll be tempted to stray.  A is A.

But she’s also an individual.  What piques the hypergamic instincts of her feminine sisters may not have quite the same effect on her.  Likewise, what satiates her in your relationship, what she notices about you, may be something that other women don’t notice quite as much.  This might be because of something her father did, or it may be because she’s somewhat more self-aware.  Perhaps she’s one of those weirdos who actually believes in something.

She’ll invariably find herself drawn away from you from time to time, but there might just be something to her that doesn’t play itself out quite like it would in a chimpanzee.  Know that good girls have their own form of Game.  Be aware that you’re a man who’s susceptible to idealizing a woman, but that the best way to ensure that A destroys your relationship is to make her into your G.

Even though Laura or Tracy or Becky is a woman just like every other, they’re just as distinct from each other as you are from your best friends Mitch and Brad.  Kay:

If you see all women as gold-digging-cuckolding-false-rape-raptors, you can’t have a successful relationship with one. It’s no different than a dyed in the wool all-men-are-rapists-and-beat-women-as-a-default-setting feminist can’t have a relationship with a man.

So I advocate some properly-placed belief.  A isn’t always ugly.  Perhaps if we destroy the “pretty lies” we might find some beautiful Truths on the other side.

Or to put it another way:

Look beyond the Kung Fu fighting

God is love

But get it in writing

                                                                 –Van Halen, “Stay Frosty”

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16 Responses to The Red-Blue Cocktail

  1. Acksiom says:

    And like all the rest of them, you ignore one of the biggest elephants in the room: that relationships are also a contract between a couple on one side and a community on the other, and the communities will not only side with the woman and against the man, but many elements in them are actively seeking to destroy the other contract between the couple themselves.

    Any girl may be an individual worth knowing and loving, but as a necessary and inescapable part of that you’re also asking us to commit to a culture and communities that almost literally harvests our sexual flesh as infant boys to make cosmetics for old women.

    I want to know what kind of love from women you people think is supposed to make up for that, and how, because I have never once in my recollection felt anything, due to a woman’s behavior, that comes even remotely close to doing so.

    • Martel says:

      You: ” …you ignore one of the biggest elephants in the room: that relationships are also a contract between a couple on one side and a community on the other, and the communities will not only side with the woman and against the man, but many elements in them are actively seeking to destroy the other contract between the couple themselves.”

      Me: “When we started seeing it as just another patriarchal power construct or equally valid social arrangement, we started falling apart at the seams.”

      That’s one of the aspects of A that you’ve got do deal with if you want to marry. If you don’t want to deal with it, don’t.

      At no point have I asked you to “commit to a culture and communities that almost literally harvests our sexual flesh as infant boys to make cosmetics for old women.” Commit, or don’t, to whatever woman you want. I’m hesitant to marry here in the US myself, but there are places that offer better opportunites both in the personalities and looks of their women, and in the way marriage is viewed by others.

  2. The problem as I see it is that all the large sites are interested in nothing other than stirring the pot. Brewing up hate and serving it on demand.

    Very few sites, and none of the large ones, address how a man can fix his faults. Repair the core issues in their outlook and masculinity.

    So instead of solving these issues that led to such a blindness and desire to follow the ideals of the blue pill as if they were reality, most men blindly follow what they see as the red pill – blind cynicism.

    That’s not what the red pill is, not at all. But they over compensate. They quit the religion of mainstream indoctrination for the cult of paranoia

    • Martel says:

      I think we’re starting to see a change here (Return of Kings has some great stuff), and I see your complaint in that sometimes it feels like a broken record. But I think it’s part of the process.

      Sometimes when somebody recognizes a new truth, the newness can take over their entire brain for a while. Religious converts, people who’ve just read Atlas Shrugged, etc feel like they’ve got an entirely new way to view everything, and it permeates every aspect of their thought.

      And then one day they normalize. They’re still who they were before, but they’ve changed. They don’t have to reconcile everything they encounter with the New Truth because the New Truth is simply who they are. They don’t have to be as strident.

      Some of the paranoia is well-founded (just because you’re paranoid, it don’t mean they’re not after you…). Society IS hostile to men, American women ARE whores, nice guys finish last.

      But even though society is hostile to us, you can still be a successful and happy man here. Not EVERY American woman is a Snooki clone (yet). If you’re smart about it, you might even be able to pull off a successful marriage.

      The truth sucks, but not in every case, and not every time. The balance in today’s world tends towards cynicism, but it’s still a question of.

  3. mackPUA says:

    Most men need paranoia, society demands it

  4. gaoxiaen@hotmail.com says:

    Damn. I thought it was going to be a good drink recipe.

  5. Athol Kay says:

    Thanks for the link love, much appreciated.

  6. Stingray says:

    Martel,

    This is a very good post.

    ((You may just find it in my next linkage ;) )

  7. Peregrine John says:

    I mentioned over at Stingray’s place a similar notion: The “red pill” is a metaphor for seeing things as they are. That people keep trying to shift that in some way or another is deeply unhelpful. (What do you call mission creep when it applies to a concept?) There are truths in an awake life that dwarf the junk food joys of the illusion, and they satisfy so deeply that the “plugged in” flatly refuse to believe it. Yeah, the anger at being deceived so long and so egregiously is going to be a major issue for a while, and learning to navigate a world suddenly hostile to one’s viewpoint involves some unpleasantness. That doesn’t mean it’s not worth it, and it absolutely does not mean that the bitterness is the definition of the pill. It’s just the price of admission to something infinitely greater.

    My feet are on the ground: I know what is real. My eyes are on the stars: I know what can be. That’s not illusion, not “blue pill” sublimation back into the matrix of lies and false comforts. It’s the eye growth that we all are supposed to have had from the beginning.

    • Andre says:

      The greatest thing about the red pill is the freedom from guilt. The realization that you don’t have to care about the hordes of zombies around you and that their judgement of you doesn’t mean shit. That is more rewarding than the fake self-esteem that comes from fulfilling your blue pill role.

  8. Peregrine John says:

    Eye to growth… Oy. I picked the wrong week to go off coffee.

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