Twice As Hard

In today’s West, girls are raised to “believe in themselves”.  From pre-school onward they’re taught that no matter how banal or divorced from reality, their opinions matter.  She’s either equal or superior to males in every respect, and it would be a shame for a brilliant mind like hers to be wasted on something so trivial as nurturing and raising the next generation of humanity.

Nonetheless, she knows that none of this is true.  She might screech at you that she’s happy, but she’s probably on Prozac.

So if  guy tells her he respects her, she might appreciate it with her brain, but her body and hormones and all of that which can’t be socialized disregards him.  He’s nothing but an echo of every teacher, every friend, and every feel-good article she’s ever read.  She thinks she wants affirmation, but she craves to be taken down a notch (or at least become one).  Law Dogger discussing his experiences with a modern American female: [emphasis mine]

We chat it up and things are going well. More hand contact, first shoulder then side waist. She’s a fun girl and I’m enjoying my time with her. Maybe I should buy her a drink. Wait, no I can’t. I’m in America and that is a sign of weakness. Despite the fact that I genuinely don’t mind.

[…]

“Give me your number” I demand, because anything less than full confidence in assuming the sale can set off one of several fabricated yet indoctrinated alarms in her mind. She likes my assertiveness. Number collected.

Few days later text the numbers I collected, same text to all and see what bites. A few leads, including the brunette. Can’t use appropriate punctuation or a smiley face. I’m in America and that is a sign of weakness.

Date set with brunette. Go through my routine, and try to fuck her because it ensures the best chance of ever seeing her again. These days American girls have the attention span of a six-year old retard at the Willy Wonka factory. Funny thing is I wouldn’t even mind waiting another date, possibly two (but no more). But again, I’m in America and that’s a sign of weakness.

I’ve little doubt that Law Dogger is sexually successful with women, nor do I doubt that what he says about the brunette is true.  The brunette is repulsed by what she perceives to be weakness, and virtually any kind gesture on Law Dogger’s part would have been perceived as weak.  He was probably one of several men to whom she gave her number that weekend, so the man who stands out as the “strongest” gets the “prize”.

Contrast this with another era.  Imagine if instead of being coaxed into playing Pediatric Oncologist Barbie, her only choices were to play “house”, knitting, or some other girly task.  What if she liked to read books about serious topics, but nobody took her opinions seriously because she’s just a girl.

Of course, this girl has instincts that draw her to Alpha males, just like girls in every place and time.  However, what if her self-esteem hadn’t been so inflated from her infancy?  What if instead of being squelched at much as possible, her femininity had been cultivated so much that it almost felt stifling?

And what if the men in her life were respected as men?  What if she knows that whatever man becomes her husband will actually have power over her?

Perhaps under such circumstances, a kind gesture by a man might be seen as something positive.  She might even like it if a man seriously considers her opinions or treats her with respect.  Indeed, women crave boundaries, but I’m sure they find some patriarchal prisons marriages more amenable than others.

When strength (or at least power) is a given, when Alpha Is Assumed, then women are free to consider other traits.  When Beta Is Assumed, she must seek Alpha first, and that’s exactly what she does.

We know that Alpha isn’t necessarily positive, but as long as it’s an exception, that’s what’s going to count.  Goodness will be mistaken for weakness when weakness is damn near everywhere.

Contrary to certain beliefs, not all masculine instincts are competitive or aggressive.  Sometimes we actually want to do the right thing.  Occasionally we actually see something positive in a person and merely want to point it out.

But when your compliment is the 475,014th one she’s gotten this year, your compliment means nothing more than her first grade teacher telling her that her scribbles were somehow art.  She’s gotten so much unearned praise and attention that she’ll assume that any praise or attention coming from you is just as worthless, unless it’s incredibly rare.

So best not to give it.  Law Dogger:

Maybe our annoyances, while seeded in their actions, actually result from the unrest we feel within ourselves because of how much we have to deviate from our instincts.

Correct.  If a decent normal man cuts himself off from sexual access to a woman by doing anything that might be perceived as weak, and everything he does that’s decent is perceived as such (unless he gets the chance to beat up a mugger or something), he’s going to feel cut off from a part of himself.  And that part he’s cutting of is part of what’s good about him.

I understand the importance of framing yourself to be as masculine as possible.  I’m fully aware of the dangers of supplicating, not only because it’s bad Game, but because of how it interferes with Mission.

Nevertheless, when masculinity was respected, a guy could back off a bit, for society assumed his strength and backed up whatever strength he might naturally have.  When he had Power that was respected by the world around him, he could use that power for good without it immediately threatening his credibility as a man.

But it’s not like that any more.  Don’t push for sex too fast?  Weak.  Allowing her to cry on your shoulder because her cat just died?  Beta.  Helping her carry the TV in from the car if you haven’t already banged her?  Friend zone.

Obviously, that’s a bit of an exaggeration in certain cases.  Nonetheless, if you’re willing to help her with her homework, you’d best have Game even better than Law Dogger’s if you want any chance with her afterwards.  Make her earn that crap.  Always.  Nothing for free.

Being good is possible, but it’s twice as hard as it should be.

So where have all the good men gone?