In one sense, I agree with Roosh that No One Would Have Died if PUAHate Killer Elliot Rodger Had Learned Game. The shortest distance between two points is a straight line. Take a guy who doesn’t know how to turn women on, teach him how to turn women on, problem solved. Right?
In Rodger’s case I suspect not, for I have every reason to believe that Rodger embraced his status as a victim to such an extent that deep down he actually wanted to be a loser. All too often we incorporate the ways in which we’ve been screwed over into our very identities. Our problems become who we are. Actually solving them means letting go of the hate, the sense of dignified righteousness that comes to consume us entirely.
In many respects Rodger had reason to be pissed. Never before has the chasm between what women claim they want and what they actually want been so great. Roger was entirely correct that women completely disregard some pretty important qualities in men in favor of sheer brutish attitude. It’s perfectly legitimate to not like how younger women completely overlook strength of character and to wish that weren’t the case.
But it is the case, and to rail against reality instead of learning how to best adapt to or thrive in it (or perhaps even change parts of it) is the mark of angry dreamers, professional victims, and generally pissed off people everywhere.
With women, effort alone counts for a lot, and Rodger considered sitting in the vicinity of females to be effort. I arrived in Spain with only a smattering of drunken hookups under my belt, and my first night there I did at least fifteen approaches, getting shot down harshly almost every time. Rarely have I ever felt so exhausted or dejected.
Yet despite my lack of advice or knowledge of any of Game’s techniques or principles, within two months my success with females was the envy of my entire social circle. Eventually you stop giving a damn and you find your words and body language just naturally express Alpha. No blogs, no training, just sweat.
I understand that Rodger may have been worse off, but there’s even more evidence that he merely hoped to play the martyr. Dale Launer was an apparent Alpha who expressed interest in helping Rodger through his predicament, and apparently he wasn’t alone. Rodger: [emphasis mine]
He wanted to help me overcome my troubles because he is a so-called expert with women. He even showed me pictures of all of the gorgeous women he has dated in his life, and there were a lot of them. This man truly lived.
A few men who are successful with women have offered me help and advice about this in the past, but nothing ever came of it. I suppose they want to help because it would be a boost to their already big egos, and also because they feel sorry for me. People should feel sorry for me. My life is so pathetic, and I hate the world for forcing me to suffer it. I feel sorry for myself.
In truth, there is nothing men like Dale can really do to help me attract girls and lose my virginity. They can’t mind-control girls to be attracted to me. My brief friendship with Dale would, however, spark a few more interesting e-mail conversations where I confide to him about how cruel I think women are by nature. He would only be amused by this. Of course he would be amused. Women were never cruel to him. They gave him sex and love all his life.
Perhaps Launer was a natural, a man so blessed with effortless Venutian success that he was entirely incapable of relating to Rodger enough to provide any assistance. Maybe his advice just sucked (I haven’t seen the movies). But maybe not. Does Elliot “I feel sorry for myself” Rodger seem like he could have been reached regardless? Not even a super-PUA advice squad of Roosh, Roissy, Mystery, and Rollo combine could “mind-control girls to be attracted to [him],” but that’s what he thought he needed.
Whether Launer’s (and the others’) reasons for helping Rodger were pity, benevolence, or just looking for a challenge, help was there. But instead of finding out how to make women seem less cruel from a man who probably knew what he was talking about (and at least knew more than Rodger), he had to emphasize and cling to their cruelty. Women are mean. That’s all. Nothing else. To hell with all of them.
When I think back to prior eras of feminine-induced pain, I would have given anything for a man like Launer to take an interest in my success. Rodger had it, but what good is a light if you refuse to open your eyes? As all of us in the manosphere know, the Truth is unnecessarily obscured by the media and our feminized culture. But the Truth’s still there, and Rodger had a better chance of being reached by somebody who could have helped than most of us.
Indeed, Rodger could have benefited from knowledge of Game. However, without some sort of psychological transformation, a true change of heart, there’s no way that any knowledge of Game could ever sink in. That’s something no mentor can do for you.
Whatever the femmis might say, it’s not ironic that Rodger liked to hang out at PUA Hate. Angry incels like Rodger are akin to the minorities who despise the self-made men who grew up in neighborhoods like their own, who see uplifting movies like the Pursuit of Happyness as evil capitalist propaganda. Trying to get black folk to believe that’s it’s even conceivable to succeed here in America is the worst form of deception because success for poor blacks is impossible unless the Democrats control Congress, the Presidency, the Supreme Court, and every state house and governorship in the country. Dr. Ben Carson is proof they’re full of it, that it might be rough, but it can be done.
So the incel who goes on to either become a successful PUA or find a loving marriage is worthy of the worst kind of derision, for that man proves that hopelessness is the lie. If a man actually can go from only experiencing woman’s cruelty like Rodger to experiencing her good side, what does that say for Rodger and those like him? Women will never change, but you can, and then you’ll see a different side of them.
But I shouldn’t have to change. THEY should change.
Which is a great way to deflect blame, feeds your own sense of importance, and a lot less work.
Experience injustice. Rail against your oppressors. Refuse to do anything to help yourself (you shouldn’t have to) until said injustices are rectified and your oppressors have been punished. Result: Detroit.
None of this is to say that either Rodger or the folks of Detroit have nothing to complain about. Rodger had to confront life from an angle that no boy should have to experience. I may or may not explore some of his gripes, but he had them, and they were real. Even if he were doing exactly what he needed to do to solve his problems, he would have suffered much more humiliation and loneliness before things improved.
But they would have improved. Instead, he refused to reconcile his beliefs about what women should be with what they actually are. Granted, much of what they are today sucks.
Yet we’re called to face ugly realities, to understand both what we can and can’t do to change them, to learn how best to adapt to that which will not change but take whatever action we can to make it better. There’s a word for handling what should not be in the best way possible: heroism.
But instead of finding a way to turn his life around (and maybe help somebody else once he’s done) and being a hero, he became it’s opposite. Elliot Rodger failed, and destroyed others’ lives in the process.
In the words of Neil Peart in The Pass:
No hero in your tragedy
No daring in your escape
No salutes for your surrender
Nothing noble in your fate
Christ, what have you done?