Jenny, I Got Your Number

Not literally of course, so you don’t need to  get a restraining order or anything.  Even if I had it, I doubt calling would lead to much of a “good time”.

However, in the metaphoric sense I do.  From the looks of it, I’m not alone.

The post to which Dalrock links has a lot of comments, very few of which are flattering to Jenny.  For Jenny blew up her marriage and has subsequently lived up to every manosphere stereotype regarding the modern female, including attention-whoring on Twitter.

Some of the comments on Jenny’s most recent post are what I would consider to be counter-productive.  Typing some variation of DIE BITCH DIE EAT SHIT AND THEN CHOKE ON IT AS YOU DIE FUCKING BITCH YOU WHORE I HOPE YOU GET RIPPED IN HALF BY AN ORANGUTAN FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!! accomplishes very little, and in fact is likely to obscure some of our more rational arguments.  For just like the press will focus its cameras on the weirdest freak at the Tea Party, somebody who’s not already inclined to agree with us will notice the references to fecal and disregard the rest of us making a coherent case.

And against Jenny a coherent case has been made, as anyone with the patience to read through the comments will see.  However, I doubt Jenny is aware of them, for of The 7 Most Common Feminist Insults used to shame and silence critics, Jenny uses about four to defend herself on a prior occasion.  I’m sure she’s gotten a pingback to this post, but I’d be willing to bet my laptop that she hasn’t read to this point; the moment she could tell I’m going to be critical, she’s gone.  Were we a bit more measured in our attacks, perhaps she might be somewhat more willing to listen.

But I seriously doubt it.  The Hamster is exceptionally strong with this one.

I’ve been talking offline a bit with a woman who can be somewhat critical of the manosphere.  She’s definitely on our side in her opposition to feminism and support for natural gender roles, but she finds out vitriol to be somewhat counterproductive.  She’s very big on Christian love, charity, and forgiveness, believing that we can never really know why somebody ended up being a certain way.  She believes that were we more understanding and less quick to criticize, we’d be more effective.

She’s right on the importance of love, of course.  However, although women express love through sympathy and compassion, as men that’s not necessarily how we express it.  One way we demonstrate love for our wives is to hug and kiss her.  Another way is to beat the crap out of anyone who messes with her.

Furthermore, sometimes it’s ultimately not about the specific individual we’re criticizing.  Jenny Erikson’s divorce is about a hell of a lot more than Jenny Erikson.  Can Jenny be convinced to see the error of her way?  I seriously doubt it, but I hope so.

Yet I have to assume that she won’t be persuaded.  The last time I checked, she responded to a grand total of one critical comment at her last post (which has 200+ comments).  I’m quite certain that she dismisses the reasonable criticisms of myself and many others about as quickly as those of the guy who keeps writing about poop.

Her defenders claim we’ve no right to judge her.  In one sense this is correct.  I don’t know the state of her soul; that’s between her and God.

However, I do know that she writes about her divorce a lot.  Even as a quasi-public figure, she could have easily quietly gotten divorced and nobody would have been the wiser.  She might have had to gradually write less about her family and more about the deficit.  Instead, she blasts her personal info to the world, and when you loudly proclaim yourself to be a Christian and then loudly tell everybody about all the things you do that violate Christianity’s tenets, it’s hopelessly naive to assume you won’t get any pushback.

We’re criticized for making Jenny uncomfortable, but consider the alternative.  What if Christian Jenny ditched her husband, aired his dirty laundry for the world, and we said nothing, instead offering to be “loving and supportive” of her broken soul in its time of need?

What sort of example would that have set?  Jenny has fans and lots of readers, many of them female, and I bet quite a few aren’t thrilled about their marriages each and every day.  If Jenny tears her family apart and gets nothing but “support and encouragement”, might not her readers be somewhat more inclined to jerikson their own marriage knowing that she’s got a bunch of warm internet hugs waiting for her on the other side?

Instead, thanks to the manosphere, anyone reading one of Jenny’s diatribes is likely to see that there’s a sizable contingent of us out there who firmly believe that wrecking your kids’ family is wrong.  They might be forced to confront the fact that divorce is emotionally devastating for the children involved, that it’s not all about fun and parties once hubby’s gotten rid of, that divorce violates Scripture, that there are a lot of us out there who will frown on you.  We might not be having exactly the impact we’d like, but somewhere some family might not be jeriksonned into oblivion because of our efforts.

Jenny had the option to avoid this simply by being quite about it.  Instead, check this.  The upshot of the entire article is that following Ephesians 5:22 was a mistake.  She also airs her husband’s dirty laundry, telling the world he has “social anxiety” and about how his moods ruined her precious afternoons.

We’ve got an entire generation of young men who are extremely hesitant to marry because they’re afraid that this might happen to them, that not only will their wives blow up their families but that they’ll subsequently humiliate him before the entire world.  The poor bastard’s going through hell, she’s amplifying it, and in the process she’s helping to destroy the legitimacy of a holy institution that some of us desperately want to save.

I’m going to be critical.

Besides, I have a rather strong suspicion that Jenny being too submissive wasn’t the issue.  Jenny is the type to fight for ten hours to take the family vacation to the beach instead of the mountains, and when she finally gives up credits herself for being able to “submit”.  Can you see the woman who writes this crap as being capable of anything even remotely resembling this or this?  There are quite a few posts up on her blog that were written while she was married.  They won’t remind you of Ruth.

I’d rather leave Jenny alone despite her probable notion that I’m obsessed with her.  She’s free to do whatever she likes, but so am I. If she repents and tries to make good on what she’s done, if she publicly apologizes for the ways in which she’s criticized her husband (yet another reason to not want a “strong, independent, wife” who writes for sites like The Frisky), if she even just shuts up and stops telling the whole damn world about her dating escapades, I’ll leave her alone.  In fact, I might even defend her.

But as rough as things are for any man who gets jeriksonned by his wife, imagine how much worse it must be in the days of social media when your wife’s explorations are broadcast to the world.  I’m beyond certain that her husband wasn’t perfect, but treating him like this is downright vile.

It’s one thing to sin (everybody does), but it’s quite another to broadcast your sin to the world without shame or remorse and encourage others to do likewise.  It’s one thing to feel confused or ambivalent about Biblical mandates, it’s quite another to blame following the Bible for your mistakes when you probably didn’t actually even follow the Bible in the first place.

It’s one thing to know that Jesus loves you (He does), but it’s quite another to use His love as a get-out-of-responsibility-free card.  I know, it can be difficult to reconcile God’s love for us with His insistence that we do things that feel awkward, annoying, or stupid.

But you either keep that struggle quietly to yourself or approach others with it in the spirit of humility.  You don’t brag about how you’re some exception to Christian morality because God loves you.

God’s love and His law are meant to work in tandem.  If you use one to subvert the other, it means you’re trying to turn Truth against Truth.  If you’re fighting God with God, you’re not on God’s side.

Instead, it means you’ve allied yourself with the Enemy.  God bless you Jenny, and God bless your daughters.  I sincerely hope you wake up (or at least shut up), but until and unless you do, I gotta fight you hard.

And fight you hard I will.

On the other hand, at least you’re not a Democrat.

This entry was posted in Culture, Family, Feminism, Politics, Religion. Bookmark the permalink.

16 Responses to Jenny, I Got Your Number

  1. Wraith says:

    On the other hand, at least you’re not a Democrat.

    She’s a RINO…same thing.

    Awesome post, and I hope “jerricksonned” becomes a legitimate term for hypocritical, frivolous divorce. :D

  2. On the other hand, at least you’re not a Democrat.

    Yet.

    I wager she’ll jerikson conservatism and the GOP within 3 years, becoming a minor league “David Brockette.”

  3. Pingback: Questioning Understanding | Donal Graeme

  4. Been following the sad, strange saga of Jenny. It is amazing how clueless this woman really is. She is the poster child for the kind of woman all men should avoid when considering a wife.

  5. theasdgamer says:

    Powerful post. Beautiful.

  6. sfcton says:

    We’ve had our disagreements and will again no doubt but you have been writing some great stuff lately

  7. deti says:

    jerikson v. To divorce a man without biblical ground, then exploit that divorce for notoriety and financial gain through widespread publication of select details of the divorce and prior marriage in an effort to exonerate oneself of guilt and justify the divorce. Sources: Portmanteau of the transitive verb “to jettison” and Jenny Erikson, an (ostensibly) Christian female blogger for “The Stir”.

  8. embracingourfemininity says:

    I hadn’t read about Jenny Erikson before. So I am understanding correctly, she divorced and does not see wrong in it?

    Divorce is obviously wrong, it is from Satan and evil spirits. It makes me consider Ephesians 6:12. I am not criticizing your point, as Jenny really did sin by divorcing, it is just very unfortunate that she has not come to repentance yet, or has she? (The links you have provided to her blog are not working). May God have mercy on her.

    This is one of those difficult situations, in that I see this in two ways, on the one hand I agree with your friend we should be more gentle, and on the other hand I understand you because her blogging about the divorce and trying to justify it, can be a negative influence on other women. It also seems there is a spirit of pride, as perhaps she knows she is wrong, but cannot bring herself to admit it. After all, the Bible is clear about divorce.

    Admittedly, I do feel sorry for Jenny. She is american, I assume? Well in western culture, and it is gradually becoming more common in other cultures too, divorce just seems to be the norm. Why did the Church allow the divorce so easily? Do you know how long it takes to obtain a divorce in an Eastern Orthodox Church? It is very difficult. It really makes me question whether Churches there are emphasizing enough how divorce is wrong.

    Either way, I enjoyed this post. And I really hope Jenny understands that divorce is wrong, and maybe even blog about it to rectify any damage and negative influence her readers may have got from it. Jenny, if you read this, we love you dearly in Christ sister, but a stand must be taken against divorce, because it is horrible, and as Christians, we have, (and you have) a responsibility to stand against it, not encourage it.

    • Martel says:

      I checked all the links and at least here they work. Which ones don’t work for you?

      Anyhow, the best summary of what Jenny did is probably here. As of this writing, she hasn’t come to repentance or anything even closely resembling it.

      Here in the States the Church has no say over whether or not a divorce is to be legally recognized, although churches can respond after the fact howsoever they choose (Jenny was ex-communicated from her local church).

      “It really makes me question whether Churches there are emphasizing enough how divorce is wrong.”

      They haven’t, although Jenny’s pastor did try to stop her from leaving her husband (and Jenny went ballistic in response). American churches are steeped in the “doctrine” of “mutual submission” and often consider Biblical prescriptions regarding sex, marriage, and family as products of their time that need to be reconciled with modern circumstance.

      Thank you for your comments, and I hope your prayers for Jenny come true. I’m sure that God is trying to reach her, but whether or not she listens is ultimately up to her. Discounting all of her critics as poorly-endowed basement dwellers doesn’t seem like a good place to start.

      • Walt says:

        Her church disciplined her and then excommunicated her when they found her unrepentant. The church has no civil power.

    • javaloco says:

      Check out dalrock. She was glowing about her marriage…until she wasn’t. The inaugural post-split post was a childish rebuke of the pastor who dared to tell Jenny’s husband that Jenny was planning divorce, after the pastor heard it through grapevine but before Jenny told her stb-x that she had filed the week before.

      After that…train wreck of attention I seeking twitter selfies, tales of bad dates and whatever, all coming from a sweet Jesus-luvvin woman.

  9. infowarrior1 says:

    “God bless you Jenny, and God bless your daughters. I sincerely hope you wake up (or at least shut up), but until and unless you do, I gotta fight you hard.”

    May god break her heart and humble her that she may repent. May God test her in the flames of trial that she may be purified. If indeed she is not saved may God redeem her that the second death have no power over her.

  10. embracingourfemininity says:

    Okay Martel I just read that link to the story.
    Is that her at the top with those adorable babies? God bless them, SO beautiful.

    Anyway, her pastor obviously did the right thing in notifying the husband. If we cannot rely on the Church to act righteously, then there will be less hope for upholding the Law in society.
    I still feel sorry for her, and her ex husband, and those babies, because it is clear she got tempted in the snares of Satan. I really hope she is able to repent and come back to the Lord, and that her babies and husband are also comforted.

    Javaloco, thank you for the info. Stories like this are sad, but there are people falling off the narrow path everyday, and others suffering the consequences of it(in this case, her husband babies and readers too). Not a pleasant story at all, God have mercy bless them!

    • Martel says:

      Yes, that photo is of the family that’s now in tatters. Let us pray for not only those children, but for the countless children in other families going through similar life disruptions because somebody’s feelings took precedence over their commitments to God.

  11. peregrinejohn says:

    As usual, I’ve little or nothing to add beyond appreciation for a job well done. Simply beautiful, though anything but simple.

    I’ll be adopting Deti’s definition forthwith.

  12. Pingback: Mission for the Manosphere: Background | Alpha Is Assumed

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